Andy Carpenter is a native Wisconsinite who also has spent time living in Pennsylvania, Missouri, Australia and now Hilton Head Island. He graduated from the University of Missouri in 2009, and has been known to moonlight as a copy editor, bartender, pirate, rowing coach and Green Bay Packers fan. | For many, the days following New Year’s Eve mean hangovers, nicotine gum and finding a way to ignore yet still somehow misuse the treadmill.
The image burned into my brain, however, is one of thank-you notes.
While my siblings and I were afforded a post-Christmas grace period to enjoy and proceed to break our gifts, said grace period ended when the confetti was swept up and the tree came down. Mom would nag and nag as we came up with increasingly ridiculous excuses not to be grateful people. (Note:
Although it might diminish to the point where this is true, poor penmanship apparently is not so much an eyesore as to be a pox upon a mailbox.)
So, as we return to work and move past the holidays (I, particularly, will lament the lack of a warm greeting to say at the end of conversations), it’s time for me to write my thank-you notes. This year, I have more than usual, and after sending them to my parents, siblings and Aunt Linda ... well, stamps have gotten real pricey. This will have to do (following the rubric of the notes I’ve written since age 5):
Dear:
... Spotify, thank you for the soundtrack.
... the Hilton Head Burgers and Brew Festival, thank you for becoming a thing. I had a blast attending the inaugural version of you and trying all of your tasty burgers, and I look forward to you becoming an annual island mainstay.
... Alt-J and The Milk, thank you for putting out two delightfully difficult-to-classify albums that were my favorite of the year once they crossed the pond. I hope to hear more of you both very soon.
... Felix Baumgartner, thank you for captivating my imaginiation. Watching you fall from the sky made me feel like a kid again. Also, thank you for not dying when you were doing that thing in your fall where you were spinning out of control like a helicopter blade and looked like you were going to die. I’m sure others are pretty appreciative of that as well.
... Quentin Tarantino, thank you for pandering to my love of Westerns and banter by releasing “Django Unchained.” I enjoyed your movie more than any I attended this winter.
... Red Apron Chili Cookoff, thank you for fulfilling a lifelong dream and letting me judge a chili competition. If you are in the business of dream-making, I also have always wanted to be in a Mighty Ducks movie.
... Will Smith, thank you for coming back.
... “Community”, thank you for not being canceled. Yet. #SixSeasonsandAMovie
... Olympians, thank you for putting on quite a show this summer. I appreciate all of the time, training, effort and pain you invested into competing on that stage, and I applaud it. I wish I could be there with you. One day ...
... Dick Clark, Neil Armstrong, Michael Clarke Ducan, Maurice Sendak, Eduard Khil, Mike Wallace and, especially, Whitney, thank you. For everything.
It was so nice of you to get me these things when you didn’t have to. I’ll be sure to use them every day. Hope you’re doing well! Thanks again! Tell (pet/neighbor/child) I said hello!
Sincerely,
Andy.