It’s a new year, and for a lot of people that means making promises to themselves they have no intention of keeping.
But not me.
Instead of promising not to swear (why the *$%# would I ever do that?) or to get excited about random, otherwise meaningless holidays (Secretary’s Day Party at my place, y’all!), I’m resolving to do more of the stuff I already love doing.
And I’m not alone.
If there’s anything those of us in the media love doing more than making meaningless year-end lists, it is making predictions no one will ever hold us accountable for getting right or wrong.
I mean, why do you think TV meteorologists always seem so chipper? Is there some kind of PolitiFact-type operation checking the accuracy of television weather forecasts? Nope. What a life.
So as we all enjoy the first week of 2013, I thought I’d give you a heads up about what you can expect to happen in the coming year. And if I’m wrong then who cares, right? I love this job.
• Apple release something that half of the tech world finds innovative and amazing and the other half finds useless and self-important. This, my friends, is a mortal lock and has been for years.
• Director Baz Luhrmann’s adaptation of “The Great Gatsby” will make us all wonder why studios keep giving Baz Luhrmann hundreds of millions of dollars to make movies. See: “Australia.”
• Ben Affleck, yes, that Ben Affleck, will be nominated for an Oscar. “Gigli” jokes aside, Affleck’s directorial chops in the period political thriller “Argo” cemented his place as perhaps the greatest actor-turned-director in the history of American cinema. He’s the real deal.
• Hipsters will continue to ironically love total garbage.
• There will be no fewer than six overhyped celebrity babies. Does the recently announced Kanyashian baby count for 2013?
• You will find out your mother is reading another massively popular psychosexual thriller and wish you were never born.
• Facebook will make some changes to its website that will make at least half of your friends lose their minds. Hey, what’d they do to that News Feed that I originally hated and threatened to deactivate my account over but now actually find pretty useful?
• Speaking of Facebook, at least a dozen of your female friends will get pregnant in 2013, prompting them to post several pictures of the insides of their uteruses.
• The locavore movement will be turned on its head. “Local” will become a dirty word and contrarian diners all over America will request fish from the furthest reaches of the Earth and eat salads topped with only the finest in genetically modified produce. Tomatoes the size of boulders? Sounds delicious. I’ll take two.
This year also should be an interesting one in music as this week’s playlist indicates. For you this week, here are eight songs by artists expected to make a big splash with new releases in 2013.
One final prediction? Your grandfather will learn the “Gangnam Style” dance about six months too late. Maybe next time, gramps.
• The Joy Formidable, “This Ladder Is Ours” — If this song is any indicator, this could be another great record from this woefully underrated English trio.
• Ra Ra Riot, “Beta Love” — My most anticipated album of 2013. Expecting a triumph or a train wreck. Nothing in between.
• Local Natives, “Breakers” — Had a love/hate relationship with this band’s debut effort. Hoping for something more consistent this time around.
• Frightened Rabbit, “Home from War” — Music lovers will get another chance to discover this tragically underrated Scottish band.
• Phoenix, “Girlfriend” — Their last album was an unqualified masterpiece. Can they do it again? We’ll see.
• Jim James, “Know Till Know” — My Morning Jacket’s frontman sets out on his own.
• Arcade Fire, “The Suburbs” — A new Arcade Fire album will have the blogosphere imploding in 2013.
• Paramore, “That’s What You Get” — A band I unashamedly love.