It’s time to take a stand.
No more “Cupid Shuffle.”
We’re done with the “Cha Cha Slide.”
Don’t even think about “YMCA.”
You’re pushing it with “Twist and Shout” and the even more cleverly named, “Shout!”
Enough is enough.
Yes, all of the aforementioned songs have become wildly popular post-nuptial anthems, but they represent the easy way out.
You’re not going to offend anyone if you instruct your goateed, tuxedo-clad DJ to play any of those tried and true wedding reception stalwarts but it’s a bit like throwing on the first volume of “Jock Jams” to get yourself psyched up for a big workout. It’s too predictable, too safe. You’re better than that.
Brides and grooms, this is your chance to raise the bar, your chance to re-educate your cousin who won’t stop talking about the Train show he went to last month. Seriously, I don’t care how great “Drops of Jupiter” sounds live.
And let’s be honest, most of your guests are going to have so much alcohol in their systems when they step out onto the dance floor that they remain just as likely to do the robot to Vivaldi or Hank Williams as anything else the DJ throws on, so why not up the ante?
For your consideration this week, a playlist that represents a better way.
Eight songs that, when played at any wedding, will get your guests shedding their dignity en route to the dance floor for an evening of shameless fun — and possibly regret.
Unless it’s the wedding of your thrice-divorced uncle marrying a woman he met three months ago on Craigslist. No playlist can salvage that disaster.
What you won’t find on this playlist are songs featuring lyrics instructing you to scoot, shuffle or slide in any direction.
We don’t need those songs anymore.
We have evolved.
• Otis Redding, “That’s How Strong My Love Is” — Had to include at least one tearjerker. The lo-fi recording gives this Otis classic a little grit and charm, not to mention it is the most romantic song ever recorded. Ever.
• MGMT, “Kids” — Upbeat and bouncy. A tone-setter.
• Robyn, “Dancing On My Own” — Needed to include at least one straightforward dance song. If your guests can’t get into this song, thank them for coming and point them in the direction of the bar. They are a lost cause.
• Beck, “Hell Yes” — A song to which you can legitimately do the robot.
• The Ting Tings, “That’s Not My Name” — How many times can you drunkenly scream “That’s not my name!” while surrounded by your family and closest friends? Play this song and find out.
• Vampire Weekend, “Cousins” — An homage to my cousins and the terrific wedding we attended last weekend in Lake George, N.Y., which inspired this playlist. The music at that wedding was actually quite good ... from what I remember.
• Yeah Yeah Yeahs, “Heads Will Roll” — It would be criminal not to include a song with the lyrics “Dance till your dead, heads will roll ... on the floor” on a wedding reception playlist.
• Oasis, “Don’t Look Back in Anger” — Every reception needs an end of the evening, glasses-in-the-air, arms draped around your friends and family shout-a-long. This is such a song.
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