Jedd: ‘Twas the night before Beerfest ...
Andy: ... and all through my apartment, I am stirring. I’ve been stirring for months.
Jedd: Specialty brew tents gathered ’round the harbor with care ...
Andy: I wish I had something that rhymed with that. Grizzly bear?
Jedd: It doesn’t matter. Besides, technically Beerfest started Monday.
Jedd: But Brews on the Harbour at Shelter Cove Harbour is Saturday.
Jedd: It’s like Christmas and Disneyland at once: Happiest time and place on Earth.
Andy: I’m excited to enjoy craft beer without judgment. On a typical night, there is a bit of a stigma when you order a beer that isn’t Miller or Bud Light — the beer snob factor.
Jedd: “Why yes, I’ll try the Sweetwater Stout or the Brooklyn Pilsner,” as opposed to “I’ll take the cheapest thing you got in a can” or “You’re out of Colt .45?”
Andy: See, that’s what I’m talking about.
Jedd: Well, you should know Budweiser will be at the festival as well. It’s the first time I ever tried Bud Light Wheat as well as the never-to-be-heard-from-again Bud Light Sangria.
Andy: Beerfest doesn’t discriminate.
Jedd: Everyone has a chance to bring their A-game.
Andy: I wasn’t around for it last year. Aside from the beer theme, I’m clueless. How does it work?
Jedd: It is a token-based system. If my oh-so-foggy memory serves me correctly, your purchase of a ticket gets you 10 beer tokens. Each token equals one taste of beer. The key is cracking the “token code.”
Andy: That sounds like a bad Dan Brown novel.
Jedd: If you’re lucky or paying attention to the right tents, some places will give you a taste for free — particularly the up-and-coming breweries. Plus, if you were too impaired to finish using all your shekels last year, you can roll over your tokens. Since you weren’t here last year, I suggest using wooden pog slammers from the mid-’90s instead.
Andy: Shoot. All of my slammers were metal. And had yin-yangs on them.
Jedd: Well, if you can’t cheat your way through Beerfest, you can at least come prepared. The forecast says mid-80s for the event. Last year, I didn’t bring enough water; it’s amazing I didn’t take my Brews on the Harbour into the harbor.
Andy: So what you’re saying is I shouldn’t wear white lest the sweating leaves me looking like I just got out of a wet T-shirt contest.
Andy: Is there any food? I don’t want to flame out early, and I love pairing beers and snacks. It enhances the experience and tells my body that even though I’m drowning it in beer, I still care enough to feed it.
Jedd: There’s food, but not your average festival fare: I’m talking Hilton Head classics like RedFish, Pino Gelato and Alligator Grille. Not to mention there’s an oyster shucking contest, and if you win I think you get to eat all the oysters.
Andy: I’m not big on oysters. I’ll be in no mood to shuck.
Jedd: Fair enough. There will be plenty of other fresh seafood, but I still recommend solidifying your foundation early — massive breakfast.
Andy: I think I can handle that.
Jedd: Also, before I forget, the best way to end Beerfest on a positive note is a proper exit strategy.
Andy: I saw that designated drivers get in for free.
Jedd: How nice of you to offer!
Andy: If you mean calling a cab, then yes, I will offer to do that.
Jedd: That works for me. We’re almost there: Be sure to rest up and in the morning, it’ll be Christmas for everyone except your liver.
Andy: Merry Beerfest to all!
Jedd: And to all a good night. And morning after that.
Andy Carpenter and Jedd Rosche are out there having good time and think you should be too. E-mail Andy at email@example.com and Jedd at firstname.lastname@example.org. Follow them on Twitter @theGuidePregame.