Everything I need to know about etiquette, I learned from Beyoncé

When the Bravo network began casting for the “Real Housewives of Washington, D.C.” — the latest in a reality show franchise known for its indecorum and boobs — it needn’t have looked any farther than the congressional floor, which has plenty of both.

Throw in some grade-school insults, angry table-flipping and light wig-pulling, and the “You lie!” dust-up’s bipartisan theatrics are nothing more than a preview montage to next season’s highly anticipated “She called me low-budget so I called her a lying (bleep) and then she told so-and-so I was nothing but a (bleeping) (bleep) and then I told her I was sorry but she was all, ‘Say you’re sorry again in front of everyone or I’ll make you’ ” episode.

And yet there are lessons to be learned here.

First, perhaps all of this could’ve been avoided if Rep. Joe Wilson had simply said “oopsy” after calling the president a liar.

Don’t get me wrong, Wilson’s remark was rude — no matter how you slice it or what you believe his motives were — but a well-timed “oopsy” can calm the masses and get most anyone out of just about any sort of snafu, particularly those made within the Beltway. Look at Bill Clinton. His entire existence is one big “oopsy,” and yet somehow he still gets the ladies (I mean ... oopsy).

Second, I believe it was the great international muckraker Kanye West who put it best when he wrote: “I’m soooooo sorry to Taylor Swift. I like the lyrics about being a cheerleader and she’s in the bleachers! I’m in the wrong for going on stage and taking away from her moment!”

You and I both know that Kanye doesn’t like those cheerleader and bleacher lyrics any more than he likes taking his meds or dating girls from this planet. We also know he’s not all that sorry for grabbing the microphone out of Swift’s puppy paws as she accepted her MTV Video Music Award for Best Female Video this past Sunday, all so he could shout “Beyoncé, you should be with me and not Jay-Z! Put a ring on ME! (sob)” or whatever it was he actually said.

Yet the man built a bridge. He put aside his own strong opinions just to make amends.

So perhaps Wilson could try something like, “I’m soooooo sorry to Barack Obama. I like the part of your health care bill that ... um ... uh ...”

OK, maybe that wouldn’t work out so well.

Perhaps instead Wilson could take his cue from Beyoncé, who was the very picture of grace, empathy and action Sunday night when she stepped aside during her Video of the Year acceptance speech to allow Swift to get what was owed to her as the rightful, ahem, winner of that earlier category — even though I’m sure, like Kanye, Beyoncé also thought her “Single Ladies” video should’ve won.

At this point, second Wilson apology or no second Wilson apology, it really is time for all of us to just calm down and take a seat, no? I agree with both sides on this point only: This is America.

Comments (0) |

---

By submitting your comment, you are agreeing to islandpacket.com's user agreement.

Views: